After five years of virtually connecting with my mentor, I was thrilled when she told me she was coming to Orlando for a conference and wanted to get together. We would finally get to meet in person. YAY! I could hardly contain my excitement. She pulled into the parking lot, I got out of my car, ran over to her and we embraced in a hug, swaying back and forth, both giddy with excitement. After the initial shock and excitement, it was as though we were two lifelong friends and the shock of meeting each other for the first time quickly wore off.
We chatted about EVERYTHING. From home, to work, career, my writing (which at that time was still swirling in my head trying to decide WHICH direction I wanted to go, paralyzing me from taking any direction at all)…and then she asked me the question:
“How often do you and your hubby talk?”
Silly question, I thought. We talk all the time. “No. Really talk…sit and talk, not about the kids or schedules, or where you have to be tomorrow, but just talk?” Hmmmmmm…..I knew the answer: we are so challenged by our schedule and activities that our conversation time was practically at a screeching halt!
In a serious voice, and some what in a stern motherly tone she leaned in and said “You need to find a way to connect. What about morning tea?” He’ll never go for it, I thought. I’m a morning person, he’s a night owl. We’re two opposite ends of the spectrum. I tried staying up at night to talk with him, and could barely function the next day. So, about a week after meeting with my mentor, I gathered up my courage and asked the dear hubby: “What do you think about getting up for coffee/tea in the morning and sitting on our front porch? Ground rules: no schedule talk, no cell phones.” His response: “Sure, sounds great!”
And so, the morning ritual started. Sure, I have to get up early to get in my morning bike or yoga, but we both know, and the kids know, that from 6:00 – 6:30, we’ll be on the front porch, drinking our tea or coffee. Sometimes we talk a lot, sometimes we talk very little, but that is our dedicated morning time and so far, so good!
So on this Sunday, my advice to you is to stop and pause, and truly think about the connections you have in your life. How can you make them better?